Don’t you, forget about meeee…
Consider, if you will…Malygos. Aspect of the Blue Dragonflight. Lord of Magic. Along with the other four Aspects, the Titans placed them to guard and guide the development of the world of Azeroth. Pretty heavy stuff.
What must this poor guy’s adolescence have been like?
I mean, c’mon. Master of Magic. That just screams “nerd.” Can’t you see Malygos trying to sit at the lunch table with Neltharion, Alexstrasza, Nozdormu, and Ysera and getting totally blown off? Obviously, Neltharion is the studmuffin bad-boy jock that all the girls love and their parents hate. Alex? The hot, popular cheerleader who’s a little spoiled but loves fluffy bunnies and generally has her heart in the right place…she’s also probably either fending off Neltharion or has already done it with him in the back of his Camaro a couple times. Ysera’s the weird, dreamy chick who reads Kerouac and likes to wander in the fields and talk to trees. Nozdormu is a total stoner who’s baked out of his mind most of the time. And then there’s Malygos, with his 4.6 GPA and high-water pants and total lack of social skills, draco dorkus supremus, trying desperately to fit in. And failing. Oh, Ysera probably likes him well enough, and Alexstrasza has a little sympathy toward him when he epic fails the tail-swipe part of gym class. But he’s still a complete outcast.
It’s like some utterly fucked-up version of The Breakfast Club, but with wings and scales.
So you know what happens to Scorned Geeks, right? They grow up. And get even smarter. And invent things. And get even more powerful. And if they’re lucky, they build Secret Lairs and have Devious Plans to gain revenge on all those who wronged them. Such is Malygos.
Unfortunately for Malygos and the revenge fantasies of nerd dragons everywhere, 25 of us from the Anvil wandered into the Eye of Eternity last night and gave Malygos the worst beatdown since Neltharion wedgied him in the hallway outside trig class. Which is to say…
…with at least 10 people who’d never seen the fight before, we went in there and got him on our fifth try in our very first week.
Not that it was easy. Even the Server Gods conspired against us, giving us a 25-minute late start because the instance lagged out and crashed just before we were ready to pull. On the first attempt, the main tank died and I took over for a bit, but we wiped when he enraged just before phase 3.
The second attempt was even weirder. We blew through phase 1 in pretty good time and got started on phase 2…and then I noticed he was still flying around clipped through the platform. I made some comment on Vent like “What is he doing down here?” The reply? “Eating people.” Yep. Malygos was still alive, still attacking, and meleeing people to death…while being completely untargetable. G frickin’ G, Blizz. Nice one.
Attempts 3 (33%) and 4 (13%) were matters of working on sticking together during phase 3 and dying less. The final piece of the puzzle was when a bunch of us decided to change our two-stack rotation of Engulf in Flames to a three-stack rotation (basically, “1112” instead of “112”). It seemed to work. He enraged, and he ganked about 15 of us, but dammit, we got him even if it was 12 14 seconds after the enrage timer.
We still had an hour left before our stop time. So it was off to the Obsidian Sanctum to work on Sartharion +2 drakes again…one-shot, baby. Not the prettiest ever, and I won’t go into my suckage on add-gathering too much, but we did it. We even had time to fly up to Naxxramas and do a high-speed low-drag roflstomp on the Spider wing. That just leaves us three wings + the top floor of Naxx tonight with three hours to do it, and then we’ll have reached a raid goal–clear all the 25-man non-PvP raid content in our two normal nights of raiding. Malygos, Sartharion, and Naxx in six hours or less. All that’s left for us now is the Big Kahuna…Sartharion +3 drakes. We start that next week.
So yeah, it was a night made of awesome. No loot for me, but pfft, I don’t care. We killed Malygos on our first week, we’re finally in position to “win the game” with Sarth +3, and I got to write a blog post with a Breakfast Club reference. It’s a good day, peeps. A very good day.