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Tis the season…to be jerks


Well, here it is.  Christmas.  The day where lots of us celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ.  Or where we come together with our families for togetherness, football, and excessive alcohol consumption.  Or even where you don’t believe in either of the above, but appreciate a couple of days off from work.  It’s supposed to be a time of fellowship and good cheer, right?  Fa la la la and all that.

Unfortunately, Dear Readers, I bring you a tale that proves that assholishness is a 24/7/365.25 kind of thing.  It comes, not surprisingly, from the WoW random dungeon finder.  And it involves not me, your humble Panzercow, but my wife, your slightly less humble (with good reason) Aggro Kitty.

A bit of background on my wife.  She’s been playing WoW almost as long as I have, a bit over five years.  In that time, her main has always been Rashona the Tauren druid.  And Rashona has always been feral.  She was feral before feral was cool.  She was feral when being feral meant “lol, shut up and heal me.”  She has catted and beared her way through vanilla and three expansions now.  She knows her feralness.  (Ferality?  Feralosity?)  She raids with The Anvil 25-man, as feral kitteh DPS, and I daresay, she’s pretty damn good at it.  In a class with one of the two nastiest rotations for DPS in Wrath of the Lich King, she was a consistent performer in our raid.  She may not be a theorycrafter and number-cruncher at an Elitist Jerks level, but she’s a solid, competent, skilled feral cat durid, and is very, very storng 4 fite.  (She also has seven level 80s to my six, because she actually likes leveling.  Yeah, I don’t get it either.)

So like me, she’s been running normals here lately to get her gear up to the magic number of 329…which is the average item level, as calculated by the client, that lets you use the LFD tool to queue for heroics.  Yesterday, she hit it.  So last night, while I was flying around Twilight Highlands strip-mining it of its valuable natural resources, she entered the interminable DPS queue for her first heroic.  And 30 minutes later, she got it.  She landed in an in-progress heroic Blackrock Caverns with four others, all from the Mug’thol (US) server.  Their names were Butternuts (hunter), Soad (mage), Cartol (paladin tank), and…wait for it…Dudeihealu (holy paladin).

Now my wife, being the polite Georgia girl that she is, said hello, and then asked something like “btw, this is my first heroic…is there anything special you need me to do?”  This was the result:

Well.  Sort of defeats the purpose of the random dungeon finder being, uh, random, doesn’t it?  “Yeah, listen, we don’t know anything about you other than you can type in complete sentences with punctuation, which scares the hell out of us.  But you look too scrubby in our considered opinion, so could you please eat a deserter debuff after waiting 30 minutes in the queue to get in, so we could get some deeps that lives up to our arbitrary standards of l33t, plox?  Thanks ever so much.”  (Please note that she has done BRC on normal at least four times on two different characters, so she knows the basic layout and mechanics of the place.)

Now my wife is no wilting flower.  She’s a steel magnolia.  So she stood her ground.  That resulted in:

“Man up get over here and prove your feathers.”  Fair enough.  A little difficult when you’re feral, but, hey, “w/e i don’t c around it.”

At this point, I imagine she was torn between standing her ground to “prove her feathers,” and running screaming away from the stupid.  (Even though I was sitting just a few feet to her right, I heard nothing about this.  I was too busy drooling over elementium nodes.)

So they pulled Corla, Herald of Twilight, aka Netherspite with Boobs.  And for whatever reason, they wiped on her.  And that caused this one final example of Christmas good cheer:

At this point, even my wife had had enough and left our four heroes from Mug’thol to pick up the pieces.  Then she told me about what happened.  And as you can probably guess by the fact that I’m writing this on Christmas Eve, I was furious. My Southern chivalry kicked in, I guess, even though Rashona is perfectly capable of defending herself.  Stuff like this sits at the conjunction of three things that make me rage:  insults against my family or friends, unwarranted gear elitism, and general assholier-than-thou behavior.

So listen here, you Mug’tholian Four Horsemen of the Dumbassaclypse.  The LFD tool is random, you jackholes.  You don’t get to pick and choose “340+ ilevel, PST armory link and notarized letter.”  You take what you get and you work with it…a fact those of us with actual functioning brain cells are far too aware of when we end up stuck with droolers like you.  You couldn’t find one other magically l33t DPS on your server to avoid having to PUG a fifth?  Clearly you guys had already run off at least one DPS since Rashona fell into a BRC where you’d already killed the first boss.  Nope.  Y’all get a DPS out of the queue who is technically capable of entering the instance, with ilevel 329, and decide that’s not good enough.  I guess you guys didn’t think you were good enough to cover for her, huh?  Wanting to get carried, maybe?

Oh, and Cartol.  The tank.  The one who kept repeating “leave rashona” over and over again like some sort of yoga mantra for the socially deficient.  You get special attention, son.  If I were churlish, I could mention that you didn’t even qualify for your own group’s internal ilevel 340+ restriction because you’re just at ilevel 334.  Or I could mention that you don’t have a single gem or enchant anywhere on your gear as I write this, even on stuff that the activity feed says you’ve had for days.  Or I could mention that you’re showing six empty glyph slots.  Karma is a bitch, homeboy, and so is the Armory.  I would actually understand your pretensions to l33th00d if you’d actually take the time to fix your own shit up before jumping on somebody just six item level points under you, with more glyphs, more enchants, and more gems.

Fortunately, there is a happy ending to this tale of stupidity.  After taking a few minutes to calm down, Rashona got into a group of friends running heroic Lost City of Tol’vir (thank you, Destril, for making room for her–you did not need to do that and it was very sweet of you to do so <3 ) and had quite a good time.  As for what happened to the other four…who cares?

Then the Ghosts of Dickheads Future disappear in a rattle of chains and a wail of “6.6k gs wtf,” snow starts to fall, a gnome limps into the frame and shouts “God bless us, every one!”, and we all go have a happy Christmas holiday.

Rant completed.  I have to start wrapping presents, go to Christmas Eve service tonight, and get ready to make a 125-mile drive tomorrow morning for Christmas with the in-laws’ family.  So from here in the Dumpster of Love, deep in the maybe-snowy urban wilds of North Carolina…from the Panzercow family, Linedan, Rashona, and Nublet, may you all have a merry and blessed Christmas.  May your drops always be purple and your groups be durp-free.  Love ya, guys.

33 responses

  1. Merry Christmas, Linedan, and Rashona and your family too. People like that get their payoff because they have to live with themselves. I’m glad you had other (better!) options in the end. Don’t let it ruin your holiday! Have a good one. :D *hugs*

    December 24, 2010 at 14:00

  2. Considering that “running heroics for a while” = about 2.5 weeks TOPS, they get the Steaming Pile of WTF!!! Award for December.

    I tend to be a bit of a masochist, so I would have put the entire group on ignore and just kept plugging away. (If nothing else just to piss them off, you know.) But to be honest, I think that your wife did the better thing by refusing to sink to their level.

    You two have a great holiday, and maybe I’ll catch you in a random or a BG next year.

    December 24, 2010 at 17:43

  3. AMG people are just getting crazy. I refuse to enter a heroic without guild mates because of this kind of harassment. I’m a healer and inevitably, it will be my entire fault and I’ll get kicked, regardless of what actually transpired.

    December 24, 2010 at 21:21

  4. Verdus

    Happy holidays to the three of you, and good on Rashona for holding her ground as long as she did. As far as I’m concerned, the Dungeon Finder is dead. Jerks like those aren’t going anywhere and the margin for error is just too small.

    December 25, 2010 at 00:22

  5. Lou Gagliardi

    This story makes me scared to even get anything past lvl 50 now.

    I’m glad things worked out; and I’m glad your wife didn’t sink to their level.

    I hope all works out and those four get whats coming to them.

    December 25, 2010 at 01:14

  6. I really, really wish somebody would roll a level 1 over on Mug’Thol to send those tools a link to this post. The tank especially needs to see the reaming he so sorely deserves.

    December 25, 2010 at 02:00

    • I haven’t seen a post about it over there yet. I’m not going to do it since the new boards are a bit more troll-resistant, and that’s not how I roll anyway. But yeah, I’ll admit, I’ve been checking every so often to see if this got linked.

      BTW, the tank is now up to ilevel 339. Still 10 unenchanted pieces, multiple missing gems, and 6 empty glyph slots. I’m WTFing so hard here.

      December 28, 2010 at 11:44

  7. Des

    Hey…it’s no big deal. I hate hate HATE hearing about my friends being given a hard time. No matter if I needed the gear or not, if there’s something simple I can do to make up for four idiots from Mug’thol…why not do it? I’m glad Mommacow had a good time on the Tol’vir run. And Merry Christmas to you, to her, and the Nublet.

    December 25, 2010 at 06:42

  8. Banibaq

    Linedan,

    ashamed I have to admit that I am sharing a server with these idiots, although I am on the Alliance side, so I guess that makes me better. This kind of behavior is a disgrace to any player and can ruin someone’s day. Now, I’m sure your steel magnolia will recover and bounce back. Just gotta accept that there are some assholes out there, no matter where you are. Sad, but true.

    Merry Christmas! Enjoy the time with your family!!

    December 26, 2010 at 09:34

  9. Herr Drache

    Belated Merry Christmas.

    I feel with and for you, and, oh goodness, some people…

    But please – as a gift to a stranger perhaps? Who hasn’t commented on your blog ’til now? Can I? May I? I want to quote you!

    “assholier-than-thou.”

    That is so “full of win.” Rates up there right with Therazane’s “You can thank me by leaving!”

    December 27, 2010 at 15:32

    • Actually, my wife came up with “assholier-than-thou” years ago during the middle of some family, ah, “discussions,” shall we say. It fit that group perfectly so of course I had to use it. :)

      December 28, 2010 at 11:45

  10. Marqus

    I don’t understand how anyone is supposed to learn how to play wow or even get into group content with arseholes like that. When the hell are you supposed to get geared if everyone wants to get dragged by each other? The common atmosphere in wow today is me me me I I I. There is no room for learning or getting geared. Worst of all no one remembers that they started with low gear and skill. It’s people like these four jerks that keep the servers low on tanks and healers because they are afraid of the abuse faced by pugs like what your wife faced. I normally only read these posts to learn but I had to post because this gearscore before teamwork mentality drives me nuts. I rather wipe with a group of low scored learning teamplayers than succeed with a bunch of elite self centered SOBs.

    December 27, 2010 at 17:24

    • Aggrokitty

      @Marqus: Exactly. That’s why I don’t tank any more for anybody but preformed groups of friends. I would rather farm herbs for 45 minutes and go as anonymous DPS than get an insta-queue and have to put up with 45 minutes of “gogogo” and “wtf tank???”

      I’m damn good DPS and I’m a decent tank (though not up to Panzercow standards), but it’s just not worth it.

      December 27, 2010 at 19:28

  11. Pingback: Cataclysm Heroics Sanity Preservation Guide for Healers « The Bossy Pally and the Giant Spoon

  12. Bloodmalak

    All i can say AS a player on Mug’thol… Thank you!
    Even though we have a lot of decent people over here its the asshats like this that get the attention.

    I’ll keep an eye out for that tank in particular, we got a lot of that too, “oh i got top pre raid gear, I’m gonna act all tough now!” me and other friends, “look at this idiot talking, he doesnt have enchants or gems lawl!”

    December 28, 2010 at 01:36

  13. tehsh

    So I’m assuming that because all four of them were from the same server, they were a partial premade, possibly all from the same guild? Uhm…yeah…that’s been hit or miss for me. When it’s a group of people that I join and I’m the third, or in the case, the fifth wheel, I’ve had them be complete jerks, but I’ve also had them be very nice. Generally speaking though, I have a much better time with a completely random group.

    December 29, 2010 at 10:54

  14. Awww. I’d run with you anytime lady. Keep your spirits up and don’t let the stupid get to you. :)

    January 2, 2011 at 13:58

  15. Elitistjerk

    This just in. Kitteh dps pulls 3k dps and gets asked to leave. More news at 11 following the wipe due to lack of interrupt.

    January 4, 2011 at 18:32

  16. Butternuts

    SUCK IT NERD!

    January 4, 2011 at 19:03

  17. I see the erudite have finally arrived.

    January 4, 2011 at 20:09

  18. As if we need any more proof that they’re idiots…

    Well now we have it in writing, outside the game.

    January 4, 2011 at 20:38

  19. Tam

    I am late to the RAAAAAGE party. But I am full of RAAAAAGE. This is absolutely the worst of LFG in action – if they wanted somebody with 340 gear to CARRY THEM (because that’s what it amounts to) they should have got of their lazy, elitist arses and got someone. Also well done to your wife for handling it infinitely better than they deserved. I am always just impressed that people fail feral kittehs at all – they’re have a notoriously unforgiving rotation. But they’re also terribly cute so I guess that makes up for it :)

    January 5, 2011 at 09:49

  20. Aggrokitty

    We are very cute. Even more now that Cata talents allow us to use kittystep as a valid combat tactic (free Ravage, OM NOM NOM!).

    Thanks for the kudos!

    January 5, 2011 at 15:20

  21. Groendell

    This just in four tools use LFG as if they were filling a raid in trade chat.

    Elitistjerk needs to re-think his posting-name since it is only half right. If he really was elitist, he’d know Kitteh dps has at least one interupt every 10 seconds.

    I hope things turn around and the ass-hattery gets weeded out or at least diminishes soon. Too many horror stories lately to match Linedan’s from LFD – such as kicking someone from the party to bring another guildy in on the last boss.

    January 6, 2011 at 16:21

  22. dudeihealu

    Well here’s my attempt at a formal apology. I would like to kinda share what atmosphere you walked into and why this happened. I assure you i don’t always act like a asshat and the online reprimand may be well deserved. We had been on that boss for awhile learning the fight and our dps quit out of agitation. Being bad as we are I forgive him, I am just trying to keep my beam tanked and people healed T.T. When rashona came in, she was of course obviously fresh to doing this on heroic. As for my comment, well frankly the dps we had last was better geared and we had still wiped alot. So that was me trying to stop it from happening again. I did not think about the repercussions on your end such as the 30 minute wait for a dungeon again, I hate when that happens to me >,<. Also i guess it never struck home that you may be a new person adventuring into the unknown of a heroic. As for the first wipe the fear was not interrupted, but it is hard to interupt and is fast so i've seen plenty of people miss it. As for the end i have to say personally I had already decided w/e i don't c around it. *Whatever, i don't see a way around it, let's beat this* -there corrected myself-. Also if she had been a moonkin that comment would of been clever!!!! okay maybe not, i thought it was before i saw the kitty gear hurrrr. As for standing your ground, well to be honest you can't kick someone who just joined. Or we couldn't anyways. Anyways I am terribly sorry I ruined that day for you. I was not being elitist, I just didn't want to spend your christmas wiping with us asshats. We did clear the instance in the end…fancy that. OH on a side note to healers to afraid to dungeon DO ITTTT. Healing is so fun that even my idiotic name is well justified as I will always be doing it for all cataclysm. And um yeah, My apologies. Sorry Gl with playing WoW.

    January 6, 2011 at 17:03

  23. Aggrokitty

    Thanks for the apology. Much appreciated!

    January 7, 2011 at 08:06

  24. Kerriodos

    Glad you got an apology from at least one of them, even if some of the others proved to be douchebags through and through. As a member of the Mug’thol community, I’d like to extend my own apology: we’ve kinda let the jerks run wild and it’s seeping out into LFD a little too far for my tastes. Hopefully others on Mug’thol will see this post (which I was led to through our realm forums) and know better than to group with these fools (the one who had the nuts to apologize aside).

    January 9, 2011 at 03:41

  25. dudeihealu

    Realistically, i don’t think a apology is necessary cause it’s not really something you can control lol. Secondly alot of it is situation. I’ve been in groups where they want to bring in a fifth guildy at the expense of me. Thing is they didn’t say anything about it so the tank just started pulling stupid. However I am one of those healers that just looooves a challenge. Like you give me a bad group and I am like, “WOOT, Time to pull out avenging wrath”. Well eventually the tank just got obvious, waited for me to start drinking, rushed ahead to the mob before the foe reaper area and pulled. By the time I get there he has like 10%, so i just pop LoH and get the biggest treat I have ever gotten in a heroic. The tank types in caps in party BULLSHIT. Immediately his friend yelled at me GET OUT after the pull and I was kicked. I just laughed maniacally the whole day, cause damn, that made my day.

    January 9, 2011 at 11:14

  26. I had the *exact* same experience in my first heroic PUG. This is a time that tries southern peoples’ souls, to be sure.

    Who would PUG?

    What exactly is wrong with these morons?

    January 11, 2011 at 00:22

  27. Interrupts aren’t a big issue on that fight, why didn’t the holy pally dispel?

    January 14, 2011 at 01:32

  28. Pingback: Bad Guild Pugs | The Angry Dwarfs

  29. Loved the post.
    Loved even more that the healer had the stones to leave a reply.
    That tank is funny.

    January 29, 2011 at 21:00

  30. I was lucky to find this panzercow.wordpress.com blog. Oh, this is a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I prolong alot and never seem to get something done.

    April 12, 2011 at 13:24

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