Your big beautiful beefy bulwark of badass.

“Good thing Da ain’t seein’ this.”


"Ain't natural."

“Right, lad, I hear what yer sayin’.  It’s a nice bow, ain’t denyin’ it.  I know it’s better’n me old gun.  But it’s a bow, lad.  Dwarves, we don’t use ‘ese here things, aye?  Bent sticks’o’wood w’strings onna back, ‘em’s fer poncy elves prancin’ round th’forest.  A dwarf needs th’ feel o’a boomstick in ‘is hand, boy.  ‘Sides, last time I tried t’go on campaign w’a bow, ’bout damn threw m’shoulder outta joint fer a week.”

(EDIT AFTER THE FACT):  OK, the quick story behind this, and why Beltar is the Wildfire Riders’ resident loot trashcan extraordinaire.  While on last night, the call went out for a ranged DPS to help in Ulduar because Yva‘s connection crapped itself and she couldn’t get back on.  So I volunteered.  Despite his somewhat marginal gear compared to the rest of the 10-man, we got Hodir hardmode…and he got a nice cloak when the guy who won the roll saw that Beltar was still wearing a blue Cloak of Holy Extermination.  (Vent:  “BELTAR, GODDAMMIT, YOU ARE TAKING THIS CLOAK NOW.”)  Then we cleared Vezax trash…and the Golemheart Longbow dropped.  At that point, Yva got back on and I headed back out so she could take her spot back and they went on to get hardmode Vezax.

8 responses

  1. One can only imagine the emotional turmoil if a Crossbow was involved.

    Oh, yeah. Been there. :)

    November 24, 2009 at 01:28

    • See, I figure crossbows aren’t quite as traumatic to a dwarf. At least they sortakinda have the same feel and firing position as a gun–you put it to your shoulder, sight down it, and pull a trigger. But a freaking elfy bow, man… *cries*

      November 24, 2009 at 08:09

  2. Don’t frown Mr. Dwarf. I feel the same way when I pick up a new tanking weapon and it’s a sword.

    Again.

    November 24, 2009 at 09:19

  3. Damn straight, young fella-me-lad! Put down the piece of string and get yourself a jolly old boomstick, there’s a good chap.

    November 24, 2009 at 10:15

  4. I am reminded of the time Homrend went to Karazhan and a really nice crossbow dropped off the first boss. He was the only hunter in the group and had several moments of angst, before saying, “I don’t have a quiver. I don’t have arrows. I pass.” I asked if he had any bow/crossbow skill at all, and he said, “Yes, but only because he has an evil twin.” :D

    Congrats on the bow, even if it’s… you know… a bow. :D

    November 24, 2009 at 11:47

  5. Figworth

    I hear Onyxia is easy to PuG, and drops something nice.

    November 24, 2009 at 12:47

  6. Ritch

    The real logic there is that a bow isn’t suitable for the stocky dwarven body type. Besides, the string could snag on the beard. Very bad form.

    November 26, 2009 at 11:36

  7. Pingback: i aten’t dead at Righteous Orbs

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