Your big beautiful beefy bulwark of badass.

Gardening and snowblowing, Ulduar style


When The Anvil walked into Ulduar Friday night–with a full 25-man Friday complement for the first time in nearly a month–we’d already had what could be classified as a good weekend.  We’d shaken off the failkarma of a few weeks prior and downed Auriaya and the Iron Council for first-time kills on Thursday night.  Friday’s menu was a spicy appetizer of Crotch Pockets (Ignis), followed by a vegetarian main course (Freya) and some tasty ices for dessert (Hodir).

And we had extra incentive.  One of our raid officers, the gracious and charming Dorritow, told us that if we cleared Freya, Hodir, and Thorim, and got to Mimiron trash, she’d dye her hair purple.  Not in-game.  In real life.

Clearly, we had incentive.

A good primary tanking weapon for the Conservatory of Life.

A good primary tanking weapon for the Conservatory of Life.

Ignis fell, and so it was on to see Freya.  If Auriaya is Crazy Cat Lady, Freya is that woman who calls in to the local AM radio gardening show every Saturday morning and rambles on about her begonias before the host has to gently tell her that 7:45 am is too early to be spiking her Ensure with vodka, and then hangs up on her.  Her area is filled with different plant adds, all of whom are out to get revenge for every bite of salad you’ve ever eaten and every bouquet of roses you’ve ever given your significant other.  Basically, it’s PETA–Plants Eating Terrified Attackers.

Now many of us in the raid had never seen the Conservatory before, at all.  I sure hadn’t, in 10- or 25-man.  So you know how it goes on your first time into a place.  Wipe on the trash, steady things up, clear the trash, start grinding down the boss and do a little better each time until you hit your stop time or the boss dies.  Well, surprisingly, we cleared the trash with no wipes (though a few deaths), and set up for our first pull on Freya and her six exciting and dynamic waves of trash ™.

We dropped her.

Let me repeat…we kicked her ass the first time we ever saw her.

It was as close to a perfect performance as I have ever seen us give.  We never got behind on the waves of adds.  Each one died with a couple of seconds to go before the next one spawned in.  Once we got a hold of Freya, it was all over…we quite literally beat the Yoggy out of her in short order.  And everybody was standing at the end!

…for about one second.  That’s how long it took the little bombs that I couldn’t see to go off right next to me, hitting me for about 35k damage and leaving me in the Sprawl of Shame(tm) as the raid celebrated our awesome one-shot.  That is, if you’re keeping track at home, the third new boss kill of the lockout period, and the second which I was face down at the end of due to a lack of being observant.

We're calling this Hodir's Bane.  Obviously it's an epic.

We're calling this Hodir's Bane. We're going to put Berserking on it.

After Freya, it was time for Hodir.  Now we knew that Hodir wasn’t going to be as much of a pushover as his sister…uh, cousin…uh, common-law wife…?  was.  Despite the fact that pretty much all of us had conned his Sons into believing that we were generally cool and froody individuals who should get 20% discounts on their monopoly shoulder enchant prices, Hodir didn’t take it too well when we asked, “so, big guy, what’s in the box?”  Frozen pain ensued.

I lost count of how many times we wiped on the big blue bastard–five or six, maybe seven, I dunno.  This was raiding old-school, biyatch.  This was grinding and grinding and grinding some more, refining our strategy, tweaking assignments here and there, learning things the hard way that weren’t in the explanation–after all, you can read about a fight, and even see movies of it, but until you’re actually there, it just isn’t as good for learning, at least not for me.  Plus, I was in “roflcowpter” mode for this one (arms spec) since it’s a one-tank fight, so I had to shift gears and remember my “waiting for Godot” rotation that I hadn’t played in a few weeks.

But y’know what?  We eventually beat the Yoggy out of him, too.  Our fourth new kill of the weekend, and a great way to end an awesome lockout period.  Sadly, we didn’t have time to attempt Thorim, so Dorritow gets to keep her hair its natural color.  For now.  Doom comes for you, darlin’, and it comes with a bottle of purple hair dye.

8 responses

  1. Congratulations! Sounds like a fantastic week of raiding for Axiom.

    Here’s a tip for the unobservant on Mimiron: It -is- possible to die in what we’ve come to refer to as Phase 1.5. This is the brief period in time after P1 and before P2, when Mimiron isn’t active but there are still mines scattered around the center of the room. We’ve lost people — good people, who seldom stand in the Bad or die in a fire — to these treacherous little things.

    Not that I, um, would know anything about that… personally …

    >.>
    <.<

    June 9, 2009 at 13:01

    • Thanks! But I’m, uh, not in Axiom. That would be the other incredibly studly and handsome protbull over here. I’m in the guild Noxilite on Feathermoon-US; our raid is called The Anvil and spans several guilds, something which, oddly, is very common in both factions on Feathermoon but apparently much less common on other servers.

      From what I’ve heard about Axiom, the initiations are horrible, and involve gnomes, the batteries from Uldaman, Terrokar tree sap, light feathers, and video cameras. Our raid only requires a demonstrated ability to mercilessly abuse the raid officers and the occasional penchant for bad ’80s karaoke either on Vent or in /raid chat.

      June 9, 2009 at 13:06

      • … I knew that. Really. /idiot

        June 9, 2009 at 14:07

      • And I don’t think my server has raiding alliances. If it’s not a guild raid, it’s a PuG.

        I’ve seen alliances mentioned in several blogs — Spinks talks about them too, and I think she’s on an EU server (Don’t trust my memory, though! I could be thinking of some other warrior… if she is indeed a warrior. Oh, god. I’m paranoid now.) — but they were a completely foreign concept before then.

        June 9, 2009 at 14:12

  2. I have totally never EVER walked through the mines between phase one and phase two.

    Nope.

    never happened.

    June 9, 2009 at 13:11

    • THE PURPLE HAIR IS COMING FOR YOU BARBRA

      June 9, 2009 at 13:12

    • Verdus

      Nor I. I’m pretty sure it was that nub, Fyriat. Totally. Honest.

      June 10, 2009 at 07:04

  3. Verdus

    Yes, it was a good week. This week I’m looking forward to tightening up Hodir, beating the snot out of Thorim, and perhaps even taking a stab or two at that bastard Mimiron. Haaaaaaate Mimiron… >_<

    June 10, 2009 at 07:02

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